Neurodivergence, Faith, and Relationship Safety: Why Neurodivergent Women Sometimes Struggle to Recognize Manipulation in Relationships
Many neurodivergent women grow up feeling like they have to work harder than everyone else to understand social expectations.
For autistic and ADHD girls especially, childhood often includes a lot of feedback like:
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re misunderstanding the situation.”
“You’re overreacting.”
Over time, many women learn to second-guess their own perceptions.
They become very good at studying social rules and adjusting their behavior to fit what others expect. This is often called masking.
Masking can help someone navigate social environments, but it can also create a vulnerability in relationships.
When someone already doubts their interpretation of social situations, it becomes easier for a manipulative partner to say things like:
“That’s not what I meant.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“You’re imagining things.”
This dynamic is called gaslighting, and it can make someone slowly lose trust in their own judgment.
The problem isn’t neurodivergence itself. The problem is when someone has spent years being taught not to trust their internal signals.
Learning to reconnect with those signals is often a huge part of healing.
This article is the first in Monarch Therapy’s ‘Neurodivergence, Faith, and Relationship Safety’ series, keep an eye out for the second article.
